Kung Pow is a fake AO created out of convenience by those Wescott guys and those older PAX from Fuquay looking for an easier paced workout on Fridays. When you travel to AOs over time, you hear things. Sometimes you hear a few things here, you hear few things there, or you get anecdotal accounts from a friend of a friend, culminating in a perception like the one I have painted in my opening sentence. Remember when everyone thought Mikey from the Life Cereal commercial died due to an overdose mixture of carbonated soda and Pop Rocks? Pop Rocks got a really bad rap after that. This morning was all about protecting the street cred of Pop Rocks…er Kung Pow.
Though the perception shared above was all from a good place, formed out of high quality banter and mumblechatter over the past year with no ill will and a lot of salt, YHC set out this morning to debunk this Urban Legend.
You see, at Kung Pow, we teach lessons. Last week, DB shared with us the finer points of being Edward. After the workout was over, it was clear..Don’t be Edward. This week was extra special as we had one PAX member (after a ton of back and forth on a group chat) that had HC’d early that had yet to step foot inside Wescott on a Friday morning (not even when points were involved for a May Challenge or the promise of a name in large font on a T-shirt).
With the HC in place, YHC began working on the lesson plan. Some Q’s can wake up the morning of without any preparation or planning and deliver, others may drink a bunch of bourbon and put the PAX on auto pilot the next day with a Dora for 45 minutes at Paradise City (circa 2017-2018), but not YHC. Everything has to be mapped out, everything has a reason, it has to be calculated, and there has to be a message. Don’t get me wrong, there is improvisation to speed or slow things down throughout, but you will get a full 45 minutes of whatever was planned for that morning by YHC starting and ending on time.
As I was planning the workout for this week, YHC was also very aware of what was being transferred from pen to paper, so much so that my posting this week started on Thursday. Lesson to all Q’s- “If you can’t Q it, don’t do it”- plan accordingly.
Arrived early to the lot to see a parking lot with many vehicles. Lots of EC this morning- some runners and a few ruckers. Planted the flag and saw a car roll in I hadn’t recognized. Door opens and was pleasantly surprised and greeted by CrabLegs, who had been headlocked by M4L to come hang out in his old neighborhood. Little known fact about CrabLegs- he is an OG Wescott alum. Was great to have him back in the hood this morning. At about 5:25 our EC’ers and Rucker’s came rolling back in to grab a quick squirt of water before our 5:30 kick-off.
5:30 hit and YHC welcomed everyone to Kung Pow, including one PAX that was a man of his word and showed, Emeril. He had also managed to headlock Yoshi into EC and the ME this morning, but no Dawg.
Damn, Dawg! To think I had “The Man” by the Killers Q’d up for COT and you didn’t show. Next time I guess. Maybe you and 187 can post together as he has been dodging my Q’s for weeks.
Warm Up:
After a pleasant greeting to start the morning off, we quickly transitioned to the warm-up that I affectionately term “The Pablo.” It is named the Pablo after one of the toughest workouts recorded by its namesake at Kung Pow where for 40 minutes we Indian Ran lower and upper Danagher with burpees (which is a long street at the top of Wescott that has a hill at top). Indian Runs stop periodically at 7 separate sewer caps were PAX perform a progressive set of burpees. 1 then 1-2 then 1-2-3 and so forth.
This morning we didn’t do that version of the Pablo. If he posted, we would have, but this morning we fellowship ran all the way to the lower Danagher cul-de-sac and performed 5 Burpees OYO at the first sewer. YHC asked for a quick count off…A total of 15 with 3 PAX- DoubleD, Deadbolt, and CrabLegs on a fellowship walk while solving student loan debt.
Mosey’d to the next sewer cap- 10 merkins, mosey-Fazios X10 F\B-Chinooks at the 3rd Sewer cap, 5 burpees at the 4th sewer cap, Imperial Walkers X10 at the 5th cap, Hillbillies at the 6th sewer cap, Good Mornings X10 at the top. Mosey back down to the 4 way intersection- squat hold for the 6- 5 burpees.
The Workout:
Breathtaker-Kung Pow Style
With 15 PAX, YHC split the group into 3 lines. My man Sprinkler brought dem hoses out this morning. Asked the lead guy in each line with a hose to fall to the back of the line. PAX would stay in their lines the entire time for this rotation. Each line would perform an Indian Run with trailing PAX with the hose double timing to the first. Upon the trailing PAX making it to the front, the entire line would perform 5 Burpees in unison, with the front guys continuing on the run and now the last guy in the line picking up the hose and double timing to the front…more burpees, rinse repeat. Lines continued to the last tree of the fairway down Wescott Ridge and continue back to the start at the pool entrance. Lead lines picked up the six, returned the hoses to the curb and mosey’d to the next circuit.
On the mosey, YHC informed PAX to obey the speed signs. At each speed sign facing them, we would perform 20 merkins. There were 2 on the route to Brightling Way. YHC missed the second of the two, but we have a lot of honest PAX that didn’t want to get cheated this morning, so doubled back to complete the 20 owed. Continued on the mosey to YHC’s home.
Mookie’s Brickyard
Rolled up to YHC’s driveway where PAX were instructed to pull 2 bricks each from a perfectly stacked pile. They were delivered fresh by M4L the day before and with all the rain that rolled through yesterday into the early morning, they may have soaked in a little extra weight. First exercise called was bicep curls. As we were curling, YHC shared a little factual history on Kung Pow and how it was born out of the pandemic.
Originally when things shut down around SW and parks and playgrounds closed, PAX weren’t left with many options. Home gyms, garage-mahal workouts, and occasional neighborhood runs were the norm. Out of strong desire to continue core F3 values within the guidelines in front of us, black ops workouts continued on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays in rotating fashion. This continued until the restrictions started to lift and we were continuously seeing double digit numbers on Friday. I think at one point after numerous post blast PAX numbers of 14, 19, 23 on the 1st F channel of Slack continuously surfaced, Shredder said “Black Ops?…Why don’t you just legitimize this AO.” So we did and we have been serving the geriatric community with these weak sauce routines I’m describing in this backblast ever since. Hell- I made it so convenient for myself this morning, I didn’t even bring the bricks to the pool lot.
As I mentioned earlier, YHC does things for a reason. This morning we were going to transport these rocks back to where they originated-Midget’s truck, which was conveniently parked back at the pool.
After the bicep curls, we quickly transitioned to front raises with the bricks X12, Lateral raises with the bricks X15, Shoulder presses times X10, Shoulder Taps with bricks in hand X10. Recover on the mosey with bricks to the end of Brightling Way.
YHC called Squat hold with tricep extension X20, hold squat, Moroccan Night Clubs with Bricks in cadence X10, mosey with bricks to Roslyn Hills. Squats with Bricks on my up; on my down X15. PAX got into 3 lines of 5 again and performed Indian runs with bricks to the other side of Roslyn Hills. Plank hold for the six.
All 15 accounted for, YHC called brick merkins X20. Recover on the mosey with bricks. Stop at the 4 way intersection-squat hold for the six. PAX got back into their 3 lines of 5 and called for an Indian Run with bricks to the start of the tree line fairway up Wescott Ridge, in front of the 20mph speed sign- 20 brick merkins.
Cusack’d the bricks with alternating lunge walks along the tree line to the intersection at Danagher, squat hold for the 6, continue on the mosey with bricks back to M4L’s truck parked next to the flag. Deposited bricks and circled up for COT reuniting with Deadbolt, Double D and CragLegs with 3 minutes left.
Mary:
Series of stretches- Right over Left, Left over Right, Downward Dog, Calf Stretches, and a 10 count Shawshank.
Dawg- Not sure how you feel about cheating these PAX out of a rendition of “The Man,” but I think deep down they would have thanked you for not showing if they knew I was gonna pull out this additional activity as the finale. Next time- I have faith you will some day show.
Another interesting thing about Kung Pow…COT takes longer. It takes longer because we have to use extra words like “Respect” and “Honor” a dozen times during name-o-rama. What more can I say? The “old” guys like the soft serve they dish out at Kung Pow.
Announcements:
Bed Build, Yogurt looking to gather additional PAX to go on some runs with Davis.
T-Claps (Recognition):
Emeril for trying new things and trying a Fake workout today (see his Strava- 2.79mi and fails to mention “with” phantom bricks and imaginary hoses). Also for headlocking Yoshi for EC and getting him out for the Main Event. A very impressive and notable memory made during 2nd F with Fonzie this morning. Apparently he and Fonzie live almost across the street from one another and Fonzie was unaware of Yoshi’s hospital name…That’s F3 for you. Do any of us really know each other by anything other than our F3 names?
Always an honor and great to see CrabLegs in the gloom. Thank you for posting and hope to see you out and about the neighborhood again soon. All PAX posting this morning. Those bricks are a reminder that running is tough enough, but running with extra weight is tougher. Today we got through it together. Never do life OYO.
Prayer:
YHC took us out. Prayers for Emeril and his family member with cancer. Additional prayers for Sprinkler and Cancun. Continued prayers for first responders and healthcare workers. All PAX traveling and those battling illness.
Always an honor to lead. Thanks for giving me this opportunity this morning.
